We all know motherhood is a full time job with one kid so what does that make it with 2 or 3 children...Where is that overtime pay at, am I right? I want to take a deeper look into motherhood. I have always had a unique relationship with the idea of it. Reason being the person I believe to be a mother to me was my Granny (my fathers mother). She was a soul on fire for love, family and God. She is missed daily and I always try to carry her passion for nurturing of others on. I was blessed to know her. I was blessed to have her love as was many in my family. Her love was special. Her mother died when she was an infant, she had a step mother that was not kind (that is putting it nicely). Her and I had some shared experiences when it came to our childhoods. Ironically though despite not having the model mother she WAS the model mother! And although I don’t have children of my own yet, I strive to be the nurturing, motherly kind of women to all I encounter especially working with children and families. I take it as an honor to be able to help foster the growth of others and supporting the health and well-being of families and building resiliency in others.
Today especially, I think it’s important to recognize the eb and flow of motherhood. The ups and downs, the roller coaster ride, the highs and lows, peaks and valleys. We know that all mamas struggle. Even my Granny had her moments as do we all. But most mamas wouldn’t trade it for anything. Some may admit they wish they would have spoke up about their struggles emotionally or mentally and/or gotten help and support. I have worked with mamas for a few years now in perinatal mental health and physical health. I am specially trained in prenatal issues as a therapist, I incorporate yoga and mindfulness in my practice and also teach fitness classes empowering women. I’ve met a lot of strong women! So I ask myself why don’t some women speak up or get help? I look at generations before me and women around me now and how strong they are, how they are able to manage the full time job of motherhood and maybe even a full time job in the community or run businesses, plan and cook dinners, laundry, clean etc. They are running a full on business here, the business of life!!!!
It dawned on me, that’s it though, they are the backbone of families! Thinking of the many roles they juggle and fulfill daily and on only a few hours of rest for most. And then add more than one child to the mix. There is an expectation of women to always have it “together”, making sure everything and everyone is cared for...but who is making sure they are cared for. And I mean really cared for. We talk about when there is a new mom, we ask how is the baby but does anyone ask, “How are you?”. As a new mom do you even ask yourself, “How am I?”. Whether a mom or not, I think we all struggle with identifying how we truly feel and what are thoughts are about those feelings.
We need to change the idea of a strong women. A strong woman isn’t just about having your hair done and nails done. It’s not about having meals prepped individually ready to go in the fridge or freezer. It’s not about the cleanliness of the house or organization of the schedules or plans of the day. It’s not about doing it all on your own and doing it with a smile on your face. And it’s most definitely NOT about having it all “together”. What does having it together even mean exactly?! Being a strong women is NOT about NOT asking for help. Being strong means knowing when to ask for help but more importantly actually asking for help.
How to recognize signs so that you can get help:
▪️Panicky or Anxous
▪️Trouble bonding with baby
▪️Trouble sleeping or eating
▪️Angry or irritable
So in celebration of Mamas everywhere, we are recognizing that we are strong in the support we surround ourselves with. It takes a village as they say! If you or someone you know is struggling please reach out and inquire about counseling services, support groups and talk with your doctor.
FIND YOUR TRIBE, LOVE THEM HARD